Chapter 23 Vampire’s Fears

Edwards Eternal Kiss

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Chapter 23

Vampire’s Fears

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~x~x~x~BELLA~x~x~x~

“Edward…?”

“Hissssssssssssssssssssss.”

“Edward...”

Everything happened so fast. There was a loud thundering crash and before I knew what was happening Rosalie had me wrapped in a robe and I was sitting in her room. I could hear snarling and gnashing of teeth and growling and a thundering crash that sounded like a massive boulder had been dropped from heaven. Then I heard Edward scream and roar.

“What the hell is happening?” I cried out frantically as Rosalie had her back to her bedroom door. Alice came in from her bathroom and handed me a wet cloth.

“You’re bleeding Bella.” She whispered. “It isn’t bad, just a little split.” I licked my lip and could taste the blood and something saccharin sweet.

I pressed the cool cloth to my lips and then I could hear Emmett and Jasper yelling at Edward to calm down. They were outside and I got up and went to the far wall that was all glass. Emmett had him by his arms and was holding him back.

“I wasn’t going to bite her!!”

“Yeah we get that but a little break in between isn’t going to hurt now is it?!” Jasper stood in front of him and began pacing becoming a blur.

“Did Alice see me biting her?” he snarled.

“NO. But that doesn’t mean you couldn’t change your mind at the last second! Is it worth it Edward REALLY? Do you want to steal her humanity away without her consent first brother? I would think you would be happy we stopped you before it was too late!”

“Let me fucking go Emmett I need to see her!!”

“As soon as you calm the fuck down!” Emmett snapped but Edward continued to struggle against his hold.

“Fuck I need some god damn clothes!” He scowled.

Carlisle appeared and demanded that they let him go as he handed Edward something to put on.

“She is fine she son. She is with the girls and they are taking care of her lip.”

Emmett finally let him go.

“Go hunt son. Go with your brothers. We will take care of her. I won’t let you go back until you’re at least fed. Your eyes are still too dark.”

Edward yanked the jeans out of his father’s hands and threw them on.

“Fine! But I won’t be gone long and I sure as hell don’t need anyone to go with me. I wasn’t going to hurt her!” The look in his eyes was a cross between hurt and anger as he glared at his father. He took off running and I turned to look at Alice and Rosalie, but they both looked away from me.

“Do you think he would have bitten me? Did you see that Alice?”

“No, but Bella my visions are only clear once a decision is made. If he waited till the very last second well we would have never made it in time.”

I just stood there thinking about everything for a few minutes before I muttered aloud, “I need to decide this.”

“Yes you do. The sooner the better, I can’t see anything else until you do Bella.” Alice gave me a soft smile.

“I love him.” I whispered and stood there near the window looking out where he disappeared.

“Do you love him enough to give up everything? Everything Bella? I mean your family, your friends, and the chance at having a child of your own?” Rosalie asked.

“I never really thought I wanted kids. I mean if it happened then yeah but to actually desire to have a kid of my own. No. I don’t see myself as a mother. Hell I barely take care of myself. I don’t even know what I plan to do with my life.”

Alice walked over to me. “What about your family? Your parents? Your friends? I mean your dad obviously cares if he came all the way from Washington to check on you.”

I narrowed my eyes at Alice.

“You don’t know my father. He has not been a huge part of my life. Yeah I spent a couple of weeks there every summer but even when I was there, it wasn’t as if he saw it as time to spend with his daughter. He went on with his life while I spent time with the Blacks. I have no idea what that visit was about but it wasn’t the man that I grew up with. Why he all of a sudden cared so much to leave and check on me was a huge surprise.”

“Maybe he cares more than you even know.” Rosalie stated.

“What about your mother?” Alice asked.

“She has Phil now.” I muttered. “We sort of grew apart after I moved here for college.”

“Bella your future is clearing up, and I think you’re closer now to deciding.” Alice said with a wide smile.

“I love him and right now I just want to go to him. I hate being away from him. I am worried about him.”

Someone knocked on the door and Rosalie opened the door.

“Is everything all right? Carlisle is concerned.” Esme looked at me with a sad smile.

“I am fine Esme. I honestly don’t think Edward would hurt me intentionally.”

She smiled at me and said “Maybe we overreacted but we would rather be safe than not. Edward has gone to hunt. His brothers followed to make sure he his okay. Bella if you want to talk we are here for you.” She turned and left closing the door.

“I love your parents. They are so sweet.” I mused.

“Our heart and soul of the family.” Alice chirped.

“I can tell.” I said smiling at them both. They were lucky to have such a bond with them.

“If you were me knowing what you know, what would you guys do?”

“I couldn’t live without Jazz and my perspective doesn’t really help but I can give you a perspective from what I would think if I had to of made the decision to change for him. Without a doubt I would.” She shrugs.

Rosalie looked at me and her eyes lowered to the floor. “I can’t tell you that Bella. It is your decision. I am not in the situation and for once, I am grateful I don’t have to decide. If you can’t stand to be away from him now, all I can say is that it only gets worse when you’re changed. As vampires, we love deeply and hard when we find a mate. There is no vampire divorce rate. We mate for life and the love doesn’t fizzle out as it does with humans. Humans fall in and out of love often. You are already showing signs of that type of love with Edward though. You both give off a strange sensation when you interact in a normal setting. Ask Jasper. You both drive him to want to shelter Alice in a den of love for years.” She smirked and shook her head.

They both laughed and I didn’t really get what she meant.

“The connection you have to him will magnify especially in the first few years. You’re actually witnessing his natural tendencies to want you so badly he isn’t thinking clearly anymore. It is only going to get worse for him each time you are together intimately, but as a vampire that is in his nature. To a human however it looks as though he is a possessed stalking maniac. He has already shown signs of it and I hope you don’t see his possessiveness that is only going to worsen until you are changed, just don’t look at his behavior like it some sort of personality flaw. Keep in mind we are only vampires just as you are only human. He has been alone a very long time and I just hope his patience holds out and he can control the beast within him.”

“Don’t put that kind of pressure on her Rose!” Alice snapped.

“I am not pressuring her!”

“Hey now, no one is pressuring me.” They both looked at me as if I was insane.

“Okay well Edward is a little insistent…but…”

Rosalie’s brow quirked and she blurted out “A little? Please…I heard him Bella he is pressuring you. No one can make this decision but you. It’s your life.”

I yawned.

“You need to rest and by the time he gets back your lip will be healed.” Alice said.

“What?” I looked at her confused. “What do you mean healed?”

“It’s almost healed. His venom sealed it. There is a faint hint of it in the air but the bleeding has stopped.

I was utterly exhausted and very fucking overwhelmed. I felt like I had so little time to think around all of them! Everything inside of my head was spinning and I agreed to go lay down because if I didn’t I was on the verge of collapse.

“That and you smell like sex so get out of my room!” Rosalie smirked and I turned beet red and headed for the door. I didn’t bother looking back as I made my way to Edward’s room. The door was propped up against the wall.

“Wow.” I muttered and made my way to take a shower in his bathroom. I stood under the hot water until all my muscles were relaxed, my finger going to my lip and noticing it didn’t hurt at all. Weird. I dried off wrapping the towel around me and made my way back to Edwards couch taking notice that it was four thirty in the morning and I yawned yet again and laid down covering myself with the blanket Esme had given me. I was asleep in seconds not even trying to think of anything. All I knew was that I already missed him and that alone should have been my answer.

~X~X~X~

“Shhhhhhhh…Let me change you baby. Make you mine forever, you want to be mine don’t you Kitten?” he whispers with his lips pressed next to my ear, his cool breath sending shivers down my bare body.

“I already am yours Edward…” He smiled and his two eyeteeth lengthened into fangs in slow motion.

My eyes popped open, my heart thundering in my chest, and I looked around the dark room. Then I felt him move as his cool lips kissed my temple and I turned to look up at him.

“Hi.”

“Hi.”

The room was bathed in moonlight again and I looked at him as he sat there reminding me of the statue of David. “What time is it?”

“Eleven. You were dreaming.” He whispered and I felt his arms tighten around me. I was cocooned in the blanket and still had the towel wrapped around me.

“I slept through the entire day and night?”

“Bella I have not given you much chance to rest at all.” He spoke softly.

“Are you okay?” I asked.

There was a very long pause before he finally answered. His answer was so quiet I almost didn’t hear it. “No.”

I made the move to sit up and look at him. “What’s wrong Edward?”

His eyes scanned down me and his brow furrowed.

“It’s nothing Bella.”

I looked at him narrowing my eyes. He was lying. “Edward don’t you dare lie to me.”

His eyes shot up to meet mine and his dominant persona came out lightning fast. He flipped me over to hover over me. “You want the truth really Bella?”

I was a little dizzy from the movement and caught my breath. “Yes.” I breathed out.

“I always want the truth from you!”

“The truth is I want you in the worst way imaginable. I want to devour you, fuck you, and do everything to you in between. I want to tie you up and make you beg and plead for me to fuck you harder and faster. I so badly want to punish you when you taunt me. I want you with me, near me, every minute of everyday. I want to love every inch of you. Kiss every part of you. Cherish you and I want to be inside of you, but more than anything I want to change you so that I don’t have this…this fear inside of me that I have never had before. I am a vampire and we aren’t supposed to fear anything! I never feared anything before! Not until I met you!”

He moved away from me and sat down at the foot of the couch. His head fell into his hands as he covered his face.

“I’m scared.” He whispered. “So fucking scared.” 

My heart ached at those words because I could hear it in his tone.

“I’m scared that some sort of horrible fate is going to come along and take you away from me. I just found you!” The room was so quiet and all I could hear was my breathing and the pounding of my heart. He then stood up, let out a heavy sigh and said, “That is the truth. I will see you downstairs. Esme is fixing you something to eat. You need to eat Kitten.”

He left and I noticed the door was fixed and I wondered how I slept through that. What I really noticed more though was the essence of him when he left the room and my thoughts were on Rosalie’s words. I may be human but I think my desire to be around him was just as bad as she said his was for me. It was scary to think that this could actually get worse and then I realized, his words confirming hers and it all making more sense. I realized he had yet to mention anything about what he would do if I said no.

So what would he do?

No the question wasn’t what would Edward do. The question Isabella Marie Swan is what would you do?

   

 

~X~X~X~

After I got dressed and made my way down stairs, I could hear someone playing the piano. I hadn’t noticed one downstairs and wondered if it was in another room. Was I that oblivious?

To my surprise…yes I was. It was sitting right there in the corner near the wall of glass that overlooked the forest. I could smell a hint of bbq and I wondered how it was that Esme knew I loved bbq anything!

I quietly tiptoed into the main room and watched from the entrance while Edward played like some sort of concert pianist.

He looked over at me and gave me a sad smile. I walked over to him, as he kept playing, and I just turned and sat down next to him looking over my shoulder watching his fingers move over the keys. 

I never knew he could play. Then again, he is Edward and Edward is as I said before, perfect.  

I didn’t recognize the tune that he was playing but I bet he had a reason for playing it. It was so sad sounding, reminding me of something like a lament. When he finished he twisted his body to the side and cupped my face in his hands as he just looked into my eyes and I could literally see his bright golden eyes pleading with me. 

I love this photo. I can hear him saying it!

 

His face was flushed with a little more color and I wondered why that was. His hands were still icy cold on my cheeks. I started gnawing on my bottom lip again and he brushed his thumb over it, reminding me.

I dropped my eyes to his shirt and we just sat there in silence for a really long time. I watched him swallow hard.

“You need to eat Bella.” He pressed his forehead to mine and forced me to look at him again. “Please go eat.”

“Will you come with me?”

“Of course.” He gave a soft smile and we got up and walked out to the kitchen. Esme had a bbq chicken sandwich, and a bottle of grape juice set aside for me and I sat down on one of the bar stools at the counter while Edward took the seat next to me. He was clinging to me. His arm around my waist and he was kissing the side of my cheek while I chewed. I snorted out a laugh.

“What?” he whispered in my ear.

“You’re sort of in my bubble. I mean how appealing is it to listen to my jaw move up and down? Not that I am complaining.” I looked at him from out of the corner of my eyes. He smirked and laid his head on my shoulder. “I don’t mind if you don’t.”

I laughed shaking my head.

“Jesus man let the girl eat in peace!” Emmett bounded into the kitchen tossing a football up and catching it.

Edward sighed and nuzzled into my neck under my hair. He groaned out, “Go away Emmett.”

“Nope.”

I heard Edward’s growl grow in ferocity and I giggled. “That tickles.” I shivered.

“That’s what she said.” Emmett laughed aloud.

“Oh god! Isn’t Rosalie looking for you?” Edward sat up and glared at his brother.

“No my little brother she is busy. Alice got some box delivered earlier today and neither Jasper nor I are allowed to see what’s inside. That is why I am here my little all-knowing little man. They are unpacking it now…so tell me what it is.”

“I will not.” Edward chuckled.

“Aw come on man. Read their minds and tell us!” Jasper whined as he walked in to the kitchen.

“No way.” Edward shook his head back and forth. “I am not an idiot! They would hang me by my balls!”

“But you know.” Jasper inquired.

“Yes.”

“Will we like it?” Emmett cocked his head as he asked but Edward wouldn’t answer.

“Aw come on you know just telling us that isn’t going to hurt!”

Edward looked at me.

“Don’t look at me! I’m not saying anything.” I stated and Edward smirked at me.

“Yep.” Edward finally relented and popped the p when he said it.

“Huh. So it’s for us.” Jasper spoke as he paced and I giggled.

“Tell me later?” I leaned in and asked and he smiled and said “Sure.”

“Hey no fair?” Emmett growled.

“What are all my children up to?” My stomach did a little flip and I stiffened when Dr. Cullen enters.

Edward turns to look at me and I know he can hear my heart rate speed up as he cocks his head looking at me curiously.

I try to smile but I am sure it comes out as a grimace and I start gnawing my lip, my food all but forgotten.

“Bella hasn’t eaten enough and my brothers are trying to get me to tell them what your two other children are up to.” He says as he turns towards his father.

Dr. Cullen chuckles. “Are you trying to lay your brother’s life on the line?” He quirks a brow up at Jasper and Emmett. They both scowl.

“I’m done.” I whisper.

“Please eat; I have interfered with your needs. Take care of yourself.” Edward frowns.

I push the plate away and Dr. C adds his two cent’s. “Bella…You have been in my home for a mere twenty eight hours and you have eaten one meal. Edward is right trust me, I am a doctor you need to eat, and you need nutrition little one. Please eat.”

Emmett steps in and whispers in my ear, “Eat or we can play the make Bella blush game.” I turn around and glare at him and he just gives me this big cheesy grin and wags his brows.

I grumble and pick up my sandwich and take a bite as they all watch and have the same expression.

My hand covers my mouth and I bust out laughing while they all look at each other wondering what has gotten into me.

“I take it human food is repulsive to you?” I ask looking around.

“You all had the same scrunched nose and look on your faces.”

They all chuckled. “It’s disgusting.” Jasper says.

I nod “I understand but how tasty can AB negative be?” Emmett and Jasper groaned and rolled their eyes.

Edward leaned in and whispered. “It depends are you AB negative?”

I turn to look at him and reply, “Yes.”

Edward’s breath hitches and his eyes dart to his fathers. Carlisle cocks his head to the side and looks at me as if I am that germ he has taken an interest in under his microscope.

“Interesting.” Carlisle whispers.

“Why?” I ask narrowing my eyes at him. What is that supposed to mean?

“It’s the rarest type of blood in the US Isabella. One out of every two hundred or so people has it. I just find it an intriguing little fact that could explain Edward’s ‘addiction’ to it. I may just have to test that son.” He says looking at him with bright eyes.

I yawned and they all gaped at me.

“Sorry.” I mutter.

“Her internal clock is off Edward you should have her rest so she is up during the day tomorrow. We have plans.” He smiled softly.

Edward chuckles and says, “I am sure she will love it.” As he takes my plate as I finish the last bite and he puts it in the sink taking my hand and pulling me up the stairs.

“Why do you guys have dishes?” I asked curiously and he chuckled. “Appearances.”

He closes the bedroom door behind us and I groan. “But I am not sleepy.”

He cocks his left brow up high. “Hmm…maybe I can help you with that.” His voice is sexy and deep and my heart thunders in my chest.

“Come to me Kitten.” He commands and just like his little pussycat, I feel a little playful.

I walk up to him, he takes my hands, turns me around, and pushes me towards the door raising my hands above my head, and he nuzzles into my neck. “I can’t wait to get you back home and into my playroom.” His voice is seductive and honeyed sending shivers up my body. He chuckles at my response. “Does my kitten need some release.” He coos in my ear and I can’t help but groan out. “Hmm…I take that as a yes and mother fuck I love you’re fucking scent. I promise baby when we get back home I am going to strap you down and dive in between those beautiful legs of yours and taste all of you.”

Shit!

I gushed, Edward inhales flaring his nostrils he pulls back, and smiles at me with that damn I know a naughty secret smile. 

“I bet I can have you asleep in under five minutes.” He purrs in my ear, a blur, and a second later and I am naked underneath him while his fingers enter me. I gasp and he works them in and out. “Edward!” I gasp and before I know it, my body is convulsing around his cool touch. “That’s it Kitten give it up.” And it is over just like that and I am anything but happy and it only takes him a second to realize that I am not.

“What’s wrong?”

“Don’t you ever do that again!” I stomp off to the bathroom, I want to cry, and before I can stop it, I am.

Edward is at the door and he knocks. “Kitten can I come in?” but I won’t answer him. It’s unlocked and he can come in but I am certain he won’t like what he sees.

He tests the door, pushes it open, and looks for his me. His eyes widen when he finds me on the floor against the wall with my legs pulled up to my chest and I can’t stop the tears. I felt cheated. It was too fast. I didn’t even get to enjoy any of him. He got me off in lightning speed as if I was some chore he had to rush.

“Bella! What’s wrong?” He is now on his knees in front of me. “Did I hurt you?”

“Physically no. Emotionally Yes!”

“I am sorry what did I do?”

“How would you feel if I did that to you Edward? Rushed you through an intimate moment just to be done with you?” I scowl and my words cut deep.

“Fuck Bella that wasn’t what….I mean….I didn’t mean…fuck!”

“Never mind.” I stood up and walked past him and grabbed his shirt threw it on and crawled into the couch. “Just let me be.” I turned away from him and shut my eyes and just let the tears fall.

I hear his faint voice right before he leaves the room. “I’m sorry Bella.” The door clicks closed and my tears are now fully unleashed until I finally give in and fall asleep.