Chapter 19 Confessions of a 109 year old Vampire

a/n

Edward moved a little fast eh? Yeah I know where was all the foreplay right?

Well lets break it down...he is over 109 and he has spent the last ten years as a dom watching and possibly participating

in all sorts of acts...I imagined he took that ten years as his time for foreplay and by the time he got to Bella he couldn't wait another minute.

What can you expect from a seventeen year old hormonal vampire? So he got a little anxious poor kid finally got some release...but he is...

seventeen and a vampire.

Wow imagine that combination.

The boy is a sex machine.

Plain and simple.

Thankfully Bella is a female who is multi-orgasmic and can keep up. Trust me she has to keep up. She has no choice. ha ha! Enjoy!

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Edwards Eternal Kiss

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Chapter 19

Confessions of a 109 year old Vampire

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~x~x~x~EDWARD~x~x~x~

If vampires could cry, I would be in tears and I would not be ashamed of it.
I found her.
I never even knew I was looking really and all my thoughts keep repeating the same words over the last hour. I never tired of hearing myself say it. It was true.
I found her.
I finally found the one meant for me.
I didn't care that she was human. She was the one meant for me.
Nothing else mattered in my life now but her.
Vampires mate for life. After 109 years of never so much as kissing a woman, I thought I was above it all. My family was perfectly matched up with their significant others and I lived for years as the odd man out. There were times that it bothered me. There were times when I felt lonely. But mostly I didn't have the desire so I didn't really know what I was missing.
Even in some schools, I was thought to be gay. I even questioned it once wondering why I wasn't attracted to any of the girls. I saw them as pretty or cute but I lacked the desire to be with them. I lacked the drive to even pursue a female. Hell I didn't have to. They threw themselves at me time and again and not once, never ever did one of them appeal to me. The absurdity of the gay thought was clear. Men didn't appeal to me at all!
Nope it took me about one second to question it and half a second to refute the thought.
Then she walked into my life and sucked the ever-lovin breath right out of me. She owned my heart, my body, and if I still had a soul it would be hers too, and she didn't even know it.
Today's outcome over the events has been the opposite of what I thought things would be like. I knew I had to disclose what I was to her and to say I was scared didn't come close. I could very well lose her over this but there was a gut feeling deep within me that kept whispering to me and telling me almost reassuring me like a mother does a child.
She isn't going to run away from you. She is headed right for you.
And for the first time in my life, I allowed myself to believe that maybe just this once something good was going to happen to me. I was wrong. It wasn't good.
It was fanfuckingtastic and I am so glad I threw caution to the wind.

~X~X~X~

"We lost our virginity today." I whispered as I held her snuggled up into my chest in my bed.
"Hmm…yes we did." She spoke softly back.
"I had my first kiss." I still couldn't believe it and god she is so warm against me. I even felt her smile against my chest when I said it.
"I genuinely hope it was everything you thought it would be." She pulled herself up to look at me and gave me a sweet smile. "I wished I had known." She said shyly.
"I am glad you didn't. It was perfect Bella. I will tell you something if you promise not to laugh at me?" I asked playfully and she pursed her lips and nodded.
"Say it." I narrowed my eyes.
"Promise."
"The word that I chose to describe it was magical."
Her eyes softened and I could see the tears well up in them. I didn't want to make her cry. That wasn't my intention. I just wanted to share it with her.
"Please don't cry." I cupped her face in my hands.
"That is the sweetest thing I have ever heard. I swear I think I need to pinch myself because there is no way you are real. I am going to wake up, and I don't want to ever."
"You are awake Bella I promise this isn't a dream. Don't you dare pinch that beautiful skin. I will whip your ass if you do!" she giggled and that sound flowed through me and thrilled me.
"So can we talk about some things?"
I knew this was coming.
"Yes whatever you want ask me anything. I want to tell you everything Bella I need to."
"First…I want to know….you said you have lost control. How many people have you killed and drank their blood?"
"Wow you just dive right into the most painful shit don't you?" I said dryly.
"I don't know the exact number because I never chose to store them in my perfect memory. I honestly believe that Vampires can also block out memories that are too unpleasant or traumatic. I do know it was a lot and not that this is an excuse Bella because it isn't, I was young and struggling with Carlisle's choice and I didn't see why I was denying what I was. What he made me, so I left him and went out on my own and I gave in and fed on the lowest form of humans who really weren't human at all. My gift allowed me to pick them out of a crowd and hunt the worst of the worst. I killed rapists, murders, and child molesters. I never took an innocent life Bella. It had been decades since I killed a human and then two weeks ago I lost control."
Her brow furrowed as I confessed to her. "The first day your blood called to me like no one else ever had. I was strong and controlled but there is something about the scent of you that sends me to a place that I don't fully understand. I desire it and I long for it and to not taste you it was almost like it is just as bad as it is if I did. It drives me absolutely nuts and I wasn't prepared for it so I went to hunt to gain my strength and I accidentally came upon a hiker who had one of those minds I hunted in the past and that I think didn't help with the situation I found myself in. I regret it. He didn't need to die that way."
"You wanted it to be me?" she whispered.
"No. I didn't want it to be you. If I were forced to choose, he would die at my hands again before they mouthed the words that I had to choose. Bella your life is the most precious thing in the world to me now. I know you don't understand how that is possible considering we only just met but I am a vampire, I am not human and I have a different perspective of what I would do to keep you safe. When something changes in our lives it is so profound. The moment I stepped into my office and saw you my life was not the same My father made me realize that it will never be that way again. It is in our genetic make up and when we mate sweetheart it is for life."
"But that makes no sense you have...I mean had all those girls."
"Are you sure you're ready for this story?" I asked her and she placed her hands on my chest resting her chin on it looking up at me.
So fucking beautiful.
"Isabella…I entered into this lifestyle on a bet."
Her eyes widened and she just stared at me unbelieving. "What?"
"My brothers and I have always liked to keep things pretty competitive between us. We have been doing this for years actually, since as far back as I can remember." I shrugged trying to explain the insanity of it. "The betting and challenging addiction that runs through my family with the idiotic ways to prove ourselves to one another is insane and I will be the first to admit it. When you have nothing but time you have a tendency to do some really stupid shit. So one night Emmett was determined to get me to lose my inhibitions. When his gift didn't work on me he and Jasper brainstormed a way to get me to put myself in a certain situation that would be more challenging. As Emmett so eloquently put it, I needed to get laid. Anyway, he and Jasper came up with a sort of challenge and were determined that I needed to experience it. They bet me that I couldn't handle one single night at a party where Dom's and Subs hooked up or a play party. Me being who I am I had to do everything thoroughly because it is an OCD thing. I am not proud trust me. Anyway, as I was saying I took them up on the challenge. It rather morphed into a huge undertaking and before I could even consider going to one of these things I had to learn the lifestyle, which is when I met Ben and Tia. They were friends of my fathers and of course I had met them some time ago. I remembered from some thoughts they had between them during a visit once that they practiced the lifestyle. You see they are vampires also. Ben is Tia's Dom and I sought them out when this bet came into play. That is why he is my mentor. Needless to say, Ben was a great mentor because he knows what it is to be one of us. With his help I managed to learn the lifestyle, he took me to my first party, where I found several beautiful women who wanted to be my subs, and before I knew it I was changing the whole dynamic of this lifestyle to tailor it to suit me personally. I started out with two submissives and it just evolved into this whole scene of several. You see I won the bet of course, but I also found a way to study women who were attracted to me and I tried to find out why they desired me. Then I tried to see if I could mold one to my own likes all the while I kept total control of my environment being a Master. It was an excellent way to learn from. If I was the Master then my word was final and in my playroom I had total control."
Her brows shot up in surprise and then furrowed and I could see her mind trying to sort this all out in her head.
"Bella I was a virgin up until an hour and a half ago. I am not making this up and I also learned that no matter how much I tried to form a woman into what I wanted, It wasn't meant to be that way."
"It just doesn't seem at all possible." she says but I can see the question in her eyes.
"No it is possible, especially when you have more than one sub."
Her mouth fell open.
"No way." She breathed and I watch her eyes gaze off in what appears to be a memory for her.
"Tanya and Heidi. That day I saw them…and you….were…oh…" I watched her closely.
Isabella's mind was fascinating. I could literally see the light bulb go off in her mind as it registered. She is so smart and intuitive. I watched her expression morph yet again.
She had another epiphany and she remembered something else that was another missing piece to the puzzle that was sadly my royally fucked up life.
"So what you're saying is that you dominate the girls by using them to do it to each other?" I could see the minute the words left her mouth that she realized she had figured it out. I should be completely and utterly humiliated but I was just to mesmerized by her responses to this huge puzzle she was finally putting together.
"Bingo." I said and give her a small humiliated smile. "There is a reason why soft limits are not listed on our contracts. I discussed this with them in my playroom. I am off limits all together but they are free to explore and do whatever they want with each other so long as I approve prior to the act."
"Bella. I have walked this earth for over a hundred years and in that time I have seen people experience and fall in love and find their other half. Their soul mate. I lived in a house full of evenly paired up madly in love vampires. I didn't think that I would ever experience that kind of love. I put myself above it. I believed I didn't need it. Yes, I have been a Dominant for well over ten years but, I have never had intercourse with a woman human or vampire. Sex with a human for my kind is very dangerous. There is a very good possibility that I would kill her and I honestly believe if I had sex with one of them I very well could have but Bella I didn't want that with just anyone. No one brought out that side of me. Not until you. No matter how long I stood in that playroom and tried to force myself to feel some sort of attraction to any of them, I couldn't. No matter what I did I would have never been able to turn them into you."
"And you haven't met another vampire that you were attracted to?"
"I have had a couple of them show an interest. The feelings weren't mutual."
"I know this is going to sound crazy Bella but I have my reasons for doing everything I have done. I learned so much over those years and I believe now that the experiences I had in that room were somehow prepping me for you. I could have so easily killed you today love. I wanted to taste your blood and I was trying to fight the desire to bite. The only reason I didn't is that I couldn't make that decision and force you into this life if I had bitten. If I drained and killed you it would have shattered me."
"So you have never even been sexual with anyone of your subs?"
"No. I was a very manipulative Master and a voyeur. I never touched or kissed any of the girls. I did whip ass on occasion if I was pissed off enough but I had to show them what they could and couldn't get away with. Some would not learn as they attempted to make some sort of physical contact with me but I wasn't having any of it. If they wouldn't learn my rules, they were released. I only kissed them on the top of their head when I released them. I had to keep them safe it is my responsibility as their Dom."
"That day when I accidentally saw you." Her cheeks flooded with color and I smiled at the memory.
"I noticed you stood there at the end your arms crossed. Was that the way you always observed?"
"Pretty much. Tanya would do just about anything I asked of her. I truly respect that girl. She has taught me so much about the female body and Bella I am warning you now…I think I got some skills baby your going to love." I laughed as she blushed fiercely.
"None of them have done anything to you?" Her voice was low.
"Like?" I was pushing her to say it.
"You know like touched you."
"You my little kitten are adorably innocent and you better learn to lose that bashful side I want to hear your question you're struggling to ask Bella."
She huffed out a breath and with determination set in her expression and I tried to suppress the smile as she was so flabbergasted.
"Have they ever given you a blowjob?" a puff of air blew out of her tight lips.
"That wasn't so bad now was it?" I asked teasingly.
I watched her expressive widened eyes and blood flood through her transparent skin and she rubbed her legs together.
My kitten loved dirty talk and fuck if she isn't the most responsive girl I have ever witnessed. Bella gets wetter than any girl I have seen even at the height of their orgasm just on words and kissing. Its hotter than hot.
The thought makes me want to roll her over and push into her again but I know I need to make her understand first.
"That would be a no. I come from a different era Bella and that act wasn't considered respectable. I am not yet comfortable with most of the acts that occur today versus back when I was human. I have never even fantasized about it so maybe if given time…it's just…this…is all so new to me still." I falter my words.
"We can learn together." she smiles and it nearly shatters me.
"I want to learn everything with you. I really do."
"So you never masturbated watching them?"
"Never…there has been a lot of masturbation in that room and none of it was mine."
"How did you not get excited?"
"I didn't get excited Bella till you came in my front door. As embarrassing as this sounds It was lifeless and damn baby I have to tell you I have two versions of hard now and thanks to you I understand the desire to do it. There is what I like to call Bella hard when I am just in mere presence of you and the night I like to call Masquerade hard. When you came down in leather Bella, it was equivalent to a human popping ten Viagra's. Just thinking about that is causing me to react." I groan.
She smiles the most devious little smile I have ever seen on her face and I am almost afraid but tempted to ask what she is thinking about.
"What?" I dared to ask.
She crawls up and slides her hands behind my neck, her lips brush mine.
"I wanna touch it." She blushes and whispers.
"Bella this is why I need to talk to you. I need you to understand that what we did in that room was really dangerous and knowing that if I hurt you would kill me. I need you to know what my body is capable of doing to you."
"Oh I know what it is capable of." She smirks and I laugh.
"That is not what I meant. What I mean is if I lose focus, I could literally break you Kitten. You are so very breakable. It scares me. And Kitten Vampires don't get scared so that alone should say a lot."
"I understand."
"Aw…I wished you did. That is why I want you to ask me anything. Knowledge is power."
"Ok…well let's see…your venom tingles."
"Yeah that is something I need to look into. I would hate to have you react to that."
"Well what I wanna…well…"
"Out with it sweet one." I tease.
"Is it venom that you…you know?"
"You mean when I come?"
"Yes." She blushes.
"No I don't think it has venom in it. Another thing I need to talk to my father about."
"Do you see in the dark? How well can you hear? Do you turn into a bat? Or a wolf?"
I laughed.
"I see through night as if it were daylight. I can hear the neighbor's thoughts that are two miles up the road but that is my gift. Physically hearing I can hear the car's pulling up to the stop sign almost three miles away. No I don't turn into a bat or a wolf. Now can I ask you a question?"
"Sure."
"Will you eat for me? You haven't eaten for a while. I think your sugar is low."
"How do you know that?"
"Your heart rate is slower and your blood pressure is lower. Your body temperature just dropped a couple of degrees in my arms because I am holding you and I want you to warm up some."
"Thanks Doctor McVampy." She says rolling her eyes.
"Oh my little Kitten. You do realize that attitude can and will get you into so much trouble in my playroom if you ever bring it with you don't you?"
"I told you I don't know how to be a sub so expect alot of room for errors."
"But there is a hint of submission buried in you Isabella. I've seen it. You couldn't wait to climb my table and hand yourself over." I teased.
"Guilty."
"You are going to be very busy over the next couple of days."
"Why is that?"
"I am going to have a very huge list. I am moving to the west wing of the house. There is an entire section of this house I had completed last year. I have yet to show it to anyone. I don't know what possessed me to design it the way I did but I know what I want to do with it now. The first thing you are going to do is contact Zafrina and find out where you can obtain one of those swings." I whispered into her ear pulling her up to me. "Whatever your heart desires get it Kitten. Now what do you say I take you out to eat."
"I don't want to leave here. Can't I just run down grab something and run back up here and we can stay in this bed and snuggle."
I find myself laughing. I mean full out laughing harder than I ever laughed in my life.
I laughed so hard I nearly knocked Bella off the bed. She was on my chest one minute and the next she was sitting up in her naked glory smiling at me and wondering what it was I found so amusing. I finally gained my composure and grabbed her flipping her down and putting her underneath me as I hovered over her. She let out an adorable squeal and I swear to god my heart was going to explode from the way I had felt about her.
"What is it that you find so funny Mr. Cullen?" She asks with a smirk.
"Oh my little kitten just a strange thought occurred to me. Bella the Vampire Humper who prefers to forgo food so that she can snuggle with her vampire in bed after she has stolen his virtue."
I paused for a moment from my laughter when this unidentified feeling leaving me euphoric this time more than any other sunk in. I was pretty sure that if I was near Jasper I could identify this feeling through his thoughts and if he were he would confirm it for me. However he wasn't here and I looked into her beautiful eyes.
"You have captured and stolen my heart." I declared and I stare at her.
"Bella what is happening to me?" I watch her eyes just melt into mine and she gives me a hint of the most bashful smile and says, "I think whatever is happening to you is happening to me too."

"Is this love?" I asked.

"I certainly hope so." Her hand comes up and she touches my cheek softly.
"Can I kiss you right now?"
Her eyes drop to my lips. "Yes you may."